Your divorce does not signify the end of the best part of your life. It is an opportunity to write a better chapter.
Nearly 900,000 Americans go through a divorce each calendar year and roughly 50% of marriages end that way as well. For better or worse, divorce isn’t uncommon across all age groups and demographics. You are not alone. You are not unlovable. This period in your life is going to take some adjusting to and will not be comfortable at all times. That’s ok. There’s no timeline you have to follow in your process, no deadlines for healing.
Now is the time to focus on you. Here are a few pieces of advice from some of the foremost experts on staying happy during a divorce.
- Accept help from positive people.
There is absolutely no reason why you should keep to yourself during this period in your life. There is also no reason to allow people who have previously been negative influences on your life to have input on your healing process right now. Spend time with positive people who care about you; they want to listen, they want to help.
- Focus on your physical health.
Whether you’ve been a habitual gym-goer for years or haven’t really been too concerned with your physical fitness lately, working out can be incredibly therapeutic. Improving your physical fitness is a goal that you can set for yourself and then enjoy accomplishing over time. Losing weight, putting on muscle or increasing flexibility are all things that you can focus on doing by yourself, giving you complete agency over how you approach your situation and full responsibility for your results. An additional benefit, a vigorous workout has the effect of releasing a bunch of serotonin in your brain, improving your mood and helping you to sleep better.
- Discover and pursue your passions.
Everyone has a few hobbies they’ve always wanted to try. Whether it’s painting, photography, building a classic car or any other new skill, you now have the time and the agency to pursue those exciting new pastimes. By trying new things, you will learn more about yourself and what you want out of life. Pursuing your passions is also a great way to meet new people and make new friends.
- Embrace new roles.
Whether your previous partner was the main breadwinner, the homemaker, the grocery shopper, the chef or supported you in another role, you can either dread your newfound responsibilities or leap into your new roles with a renewed focus. Whether you’re searching for a new job or learning to cook new recipes, embracing this new life is not only healthy, it can be life-affirming.
- Talk to a therapist.
There is no shame in speaking with a true professional about what’s going on in your life. Whether you just need to speak with someone a few times or want to make it a weekly occurrence, it’s a great idea to make sure that you’re handling this part of your life the right way and start your next journey on the right foot. Talkspace is a great resource for your on-demand therapy needs.
You can either dread your newfound responsibilities or leap into your new roles with a renewed focus
If you’re going through a divorce, or think it may be time to get one, there is nothing more important than making sure to surround yourself with people who care about you and want the best for your future. Don’t hesitate to reach out to those loved ones, even if it has been a while since you connected.
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